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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45954) - you deserved it (5186)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (15687)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49487) - you deserved it (13279)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (47742)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (3572)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (3841)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44290) - you deserved it (4319)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42864) - you deserved it (2866)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45299) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML



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