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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49924) - you deserved it (13372)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (5490)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (50353)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46835) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52415) - you deserved it (6083)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41415) - you deserved it (4653)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52320) - you deserved it (4846)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47735) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44783) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45782) - you deserved it (4024)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45743) - you deserved it (4805)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom



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