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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43237) - you deserved it (4411)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49957) - you deserved it (5761)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

#20930986
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44479) - you deserved it (5342)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46599) - you deserved it (5259)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML

#20919168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44752) - you deserved it (3917)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:50pm - money - by and she blames me -_- (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

#20909928
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50541) - you deserved it (3579)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm - love - by UHM (man) - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21271) - you deserved it (47813)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44398) - you deserved it (4325)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancée of 2 years and mother of my son, who is also pregnant with our second son, commented on how lucky two friends getting married were to have found each other. I said that we're just as lucky. She responded, "No. They actually love each other." FML

#20936067
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45395) - you deserved it (4125)

On 10/27/2013 at 8:41pm - love - by failure (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I realized I can't afford to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years, as we split the rent. I'll need a second job just to get out of my bad relationship. FML



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