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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (4601)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, my boss gave me a verbal warning. My crime? Calling people "hon", "darlin'", and the like. I work at a Texas diner. FML

#20924228
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42646) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/17/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42410) - you deserved it (23908)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I was assigned to fill in for a French teacher who was out sick. I had asked the class to name some French-speaking countries. I called on one girl and she replied, "Uh, Europe. That's, like, the only other one, right?" Nobody disagreed. I'm filling in for the rest of the month. FML

#20929522
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40929) - you deserved it (2584)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:40pm - work - by :| - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was wearing a letterman jacket that had my school name and "Okinawa Japan" on the back. A high school kid walks up to me and says, "I can't forgive you people for bombing Pearl Harbor." I'm black. FML

#20938215
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (3685)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:31pm - misc - by The_FN_Gunny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47792) - you deserved it (4342)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45060) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43355) - you deserved it (19259)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36773) - you deserved it (26221)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53515) - you deserved it (5073)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML

#20906869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50977) - you deserved it (7071)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:20am - misc - by f.a.t. (woman) - Australia

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33518) - you deserved it (2595)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (23645)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States



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