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September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17812) - you deserved it (127731)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

#20873101
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (98600)

On 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm - love - by verbaltodomestic (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61048) - you deserved it (25672)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing World of Warcraft, when all of a sudden, I remembered I was supposed to be at a wedding. I was 25 minutes late to my own wedding. FML

#20880446
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (88949)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

#20898181
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66602) - you deserved it (4054)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

#20898893
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56547) - you deserved it (36350)

On 09/28/2013 at 7:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (10553)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17975) - you deserved it (88605)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (89957)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, my boyfriend got offered a job at Abercrombie. The first thing he asked was "they only hire hot people, right?!" Now he won't stop telling me how lucky I am to be with such a hot guy. FML

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

#20895842
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (6278)

On 09/25/2013 at 5:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I told a guy he should be ashamed of himself for parking in a handicapped space. He hit me with his prosthetic leg. FML

#20875582
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17026) - you deserved it (85897)

On 09/10/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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