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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45923) - you deserved it (4124)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, I found my elderly neighbour on all fours in my garden eating my flowers. FML

#20836671
113 comments

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46160) - you deserved it (14949)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I found a topless photo of my mother on my phone. Thanks, iCloud. FML

#20818189
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48055) - you deserved it (4591)

On 08/03/2013 at 2:46am - misc - by fsdjhgasjlhg (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you deserved it (36444)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48091) - you deserved it (2906)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48002) - you deserved it (9438)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66493) - you deserved it (8446)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

#20828881
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42252) - you deserved it (13954)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:22am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

#20832105
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63063) - you deserved it (23098)

On 08/11/2013 at 11:35am - intimacy - by ass slap - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's last will and testament. My parents, as well as my brothers and sister, all inherited a nice sum of money. I got 69 cents, because "young Jack always was an immature little shit." FML

#20840692
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49020) - you deserved it (20156)

On 08/16/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by JacksWag4 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

#20822176
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50602) - you deserved it (6309)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46784) - you deserved it (9147)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States



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