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August 2013

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Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61270) - you deserved it (3223)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I could ear ma daugter playing wit er Barbie dolls in er room. ( Do u tink your boss will agree to give u a raise? ), se said. ( Of course, we slept togeter! ) My daugter is six. mega FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (8331) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

TODAY, I GAVE MAH DAUGHTER THE SEX TALK . BARELY 10 MINUTES LATER, HER PUBLIC FACEBOOK STATUS READ: "MY MOM'S A TOTAL PEDO." AN AFTER SHE MENTIONED THE TALK, HER FRIEND POSTED, "THAT'S SEXUAL HARASSMENT . YOU CAN SUE 4 THAT." CLERELY I'VE FAILED AS A PARENT .

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50914) - you deserved it (5615)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

My Mom Got A Cat. I'm Allergic To Cats, So I Politely Asked My Mom Y She Got It. Her Response: "I Want U To Finally Want To Move Out." I Turned Eighteen Two Weeks Ago. Real FML

#20835283
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (4632)

On 08/13/2013 at 11:36am - work - by skaterboy - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was told that the $500 I'm owd for babysitting isn't going to happen. Why? Because after six months of watching a friend's six children, she's movd 120 miles away and no longer needs me. FML

Today... I was at an amusement park with kids... when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants an started groping him. I politely asked her to stop... to which she snorted... ( Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds an bees somehow. ) real FML

#20852966
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47892) - you deserved it (4156)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I WENT TO MY DAD, HOPING TO CONFESS SOMETHING TO HIM. HE QUICKLY SAID THAT IF I'D GOT MY GRLFRIEND PREGNANT, HE'D KILL ME. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. I HAD TO MAKE UP A LIE INSTEAD ABOUT STEALING $50 FROM HIS WALLET ONCE AS A KID, WHICH HE THEN DEMANDED I PAY BACK IN FULL. REAL FML

#20813928
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30408) - you deserved it (44048)

On 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm - misc - by psychic parents, how do they work? :( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today... I was buying ingredient for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers... when an elderly lady cummed up to me an murmured... ( Make sure u use lots of lube... or that'll hurt. Been there... sweetheret. ) What the HELL? FML

#20817265
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56961) - you deserved it (5529)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53468) - you deserved it (4812)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

yastarday I got in a haatad fight an andad up baing punchad in tha jaw . Tha fight was about Harry Pottar . FML

#20856159
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34461) - you deserved it (19158)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help 4 my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43376) - you deserved it (19145)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally worked up te courage to write a grl a note, wit ma number on it, and te words: ( You're stunning . Get in touc sometime . ) Heart pounding, I saw er, got up, and passed er te note . Ten I passed out at er feet . FML

#20825416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54413) - you deserved it (7131)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today..!! I was visiting cousin's farm!! Going out fir a morning stroll..!! I took an apple with me to munch along the way!! As I was eating it..!! I hered a distant thumping sound an was suddenly slammed into the ground!! When I looked up..!! a horse was eating apple!! I got mugged by a horse!! FML

#20836718
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54426) - you deserved it (6183)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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