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August 2013

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Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (19854)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38115) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

#20822442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48044) - you deserved it (7112)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46969) - you deserved it (5824)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39852) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (2992)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after gaining all the weight back that I had lost after my first marriage, I realized that the only thing that fits me now is my wedding ring. FML

#20821309
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38664) - you deserved it (9529)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:00am - health - by this sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46992) - you deserved it (4361)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36711) - you deserved it (3029)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42471) - you deserved it (3314)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (4657)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43603) - you deserved it (2727)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I asked a cute guy for his number but instead he gave it to my gay friend. When my friend later called him, it turned out that he'd given him his number just to get rid of me and wasn't expecting him to call. FML

#20858957
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41420) - you deserved it (3557)

On 08/29/2013 at 6:44am - love - by sorejecteditmakesmewannacry (woman) - Sent from mobile version



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