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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

#20815357
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43431) - you deserved it (4022)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by hangman (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that while having a GPS tracker in your car is helpful for tracking down car thieves, it's also helpful to your psycho ex, who can use it to track you down. FML

#20846264
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39636) - you deserved it (3232)

On 08/20/2013 at 12:28pm - misc - by nobieb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the library. I had to use the restroom, where I ended up singing in bad, made-up Japanese the whole time. When I went back across the library, my brother informed me that everyone could clearly hear me. FML

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43467) - you deserved it (5449)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out that if someone flushes a toilet the same time I'm starting the washing machine, my house will flood. FML

#20844207
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40205) - you deserved it (2482)

On 08/19/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by Ben - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML

#20848347
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (3481)

On 08/21/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Jade (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

#20849456
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (2466)

On 08/22/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by never thought I'd say that (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

#20822442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44647) - you deserved it (6690)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, trying to impress my in-laws, I put a lot of effort into selecting a nice bottle of wine for dinner at their house. When I got there, I gave the bottle to my wife's mother. Later, my father-in-law emerges from the kitchen to berate his wife over her poor choice of wine. It was mine. FML

#20855520
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36680) - you deserved it (3034)

On 08/26/2013 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (2762)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, after gaining all the weight back that I had lost after my first marriage, I realized that the only thing that fits me now is my wedding ring. FML

#20821309
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (9017)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:00am - health - by this sucks - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

#20835313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39254) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was watching TV with my boyfriend, when a weird wart-removal ad came on. He watched in disgust as the lady's wart said rude things to her. Then he looked at me and said seriously, "I'm glad yours don't talk..." FML

#20842136
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39788) - you deserved it (4318)

On 08/17/2013 at 8:27pm - love - by WartCream - United States (Kansas)



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