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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom bitched me out for not driving my little brother to school this morning. The reason I didn't is that some assfuck decided to slash my tires overnight. She was well aware of this fact. FML

#20859259
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44723) - you deserved it (2553)

On 08/29/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by hope they slash you next, mom - United States (Ohio)

Today, I addressed my district manager as "Dude." FML

#20859944
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19333) - you deserved it (39594)

On 08/30/2013 at 2:28am - work - by goodbyepromotion (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML

#20860538
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45748) - you deserved it (3783)

On 08/30/2013 at 4:31pm - money - by -_- (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML

#20858925
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36231) - you deserved it (2378)

On 08/29/2013 at 5:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44028) - you deserved it (6661)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

#20831150
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (8643)

On 08/10/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by selfesteemloss (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

#20843443
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (5260)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by socianx (man) - Albania

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

#20849387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (2864)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Cavite)

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

#20860349
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (13179)

On 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm - kids - by thanks, dad... (woman) - Romania (Maramures)

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

#20856967
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46876) - you deserved it (6800)

On 08/27/2013 at 8:23pm - love - by dhskkf (man) - United States

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

#20830800
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42035) - you deserved it (2693)

On 08/10/2013 at 2:41pm - work - by his word vs mine = me suspended (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (6945)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, my computer stopped connecting to the corporate network. I know what the problem is, but our tech support is so clueless that the only thing they do is utter the dreaded words, "Did you try turning it off and back on?" Meanwhile my boss is yelling at me for not getting any work done. FML

#20849629
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39222) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/22/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by lord kuntface (man) - United States (Florida)



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