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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

#20821467
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37217) - you deserved it (8292)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I let a friend read a draft of the novel I'm writing. She claimed the antagonist is blatantly based on her, and threatened to sue me if I don't pay her royalties. The antagonist is an ancient, insane goblin witch. I guess I see now how this confusion could arise. FML

#20829558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46811) - you deserved it (3372)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:53pm - work - by pardon my English :$ (woman) - France

Today, as I returned home, I noticed some movement inside my house. Thinking it was a break-in, I called 911. It was my friends and some coworkers trying to throw me a surprise birthday party. Nobody's said a word to me since. FML

#20841179
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44522) - you deserved it (8557)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by Suprise - United States

Today, I received a phone call that started with, "Now stay calm... Your house is on fire." FML

#20834558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48800) - you deserved it (2658)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45184) - you deserved it (3185)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML

#20854811
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (3781)

On 08/26/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by 4_and_20_blackbits (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I discovered that when my crush leans in to kiss me, I get so nervous I throw up. Then throw up again thinking about how embarrassed I am. FML

#20841404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (7498)

On 08/17/2013 at 4:24am - love - by love-shot - United States (Kansas)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45602) - you deserved it (9790)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20132) - you deserved it (53985)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43345) - you deserved it (2674)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

#20839453
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (8492)

On 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm - love - by ZeroLuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

#20855061
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44756) - you deserved it (5906)

On 08/26/2013 at 12:45pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

#20849812
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41056) - you deserved it (2942)

On 08/22/2013 at 7:50pm - work - by Awkward - United States



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