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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after recovering from pneumonia and a severe asthma attack caused by my dad's fiancée's cat, he chose to keep the cat. I can't go to his house without having to go to the hospital later. FML

#20781390
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41383) - you deserved it (3531)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:35am - health - by coughcough - United States

Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old son apparently practicing his oral sex skills on the crotch of one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

#20765717
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51194) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my grandma walked into my house drunk. She was mumbling something about her being a badass because she beat someone with a pool stick at a bar. She's 68 years old. FML

#20804067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39340) - you deserved it (3838)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by dareyale (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML

#20759304
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (20742)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

#20777868
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50769) - you deserved it (7317)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm - love - by ElodieUNU (woman) - France

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

#20803453
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44598) - you deserved it (8832)

On 07/25/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

#20797729
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52516) - you deserved it (4067)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43555) - you deserved it (14373)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

#20782525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24469) - you deserved it (62510)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42908) - you deserved it (5767)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46693) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)



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