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July 2013

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Today , mah 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri , so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." mega FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100062) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday, one of mah cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean looool up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn!! I'm a grl!! big fat FML

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, an I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" an that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (65440)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML

#20796032
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, mah boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping,hen for the frst time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's looool now in hospital.

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (66726)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Taday I went to get new shoes . I'm a pretty tall girl an I have proportional feet . I askd the cute guyho workd there for a size 9.5 . He burst into laughter before putting on a shockd face an saying, "Oh wait.. . You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem . mega FML

#20757181
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (2755)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by theyre not THAT big. (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was going to fight tha guy who my girlfriand laft ma for. Whila waiting at tha park, ha sant ma a vidao of tha two of tham having sax on my bad. FML

#20768398
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65882) - you deserved it (21421)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (10870)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today , I saw mah older sister 4 the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman mah college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately , our reunion was fueld by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65985) - you deserved it (5295)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, WHILE WAITRESSING, I HAD A HUGE PARTY. WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SAID AND DONE I SAW THE TIP THEY LEFT ME. IT SAID ON A NAPKIN, "YOU'RE PRETTY. YOU CAN'T PUTTED A VALUE ON A COMPLIMENT." AND THAT WAS IT. I WISH COMPLIMENTS PAID THE RENT. FML

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

looool Today, my girlfriand guiltad ma into rolaplaying as Justin Biabar bafora an during sax!! I now faal pysically ill!! FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62515) - you deserved it (22260)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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