Choose the period

All time / Top of the month / Top of the week / Top of the day
July 2013

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2013 at 3:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of over four years cheated on me in revenge for me abandoning our date last night. I'm a surgeon on call at the local hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 5:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my fiancé confronted me about our wedding arrangements. Apparently, if he's not allowed to wear a duct-tape tuxedo and have a Jesus impersonator as his best man, the wedding is off. FML

Today, my sister backed out of my wedding because it was becoming too much about me. After I begged her to reconsider, I had no choice but to pick a new bridesmaid. When my new bridesmaid posted on Facebook how excited she was, my sister commented, "See, you made HER feel special." FML

by chumpslolo / 07/25/2013 at 6:55am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

by GiantsFan13 / 07/23/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

by libraries are a girl's best friend / 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy

Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML

by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous