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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received 5 missed calls from a florist stating that they were having problems delivering a bouquet from my ex. I was thrilled at the idea of a reconciliation. Turns out however that he just got mine and his new girlfriend's phone numbers confused. FML

#20747907
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (3576)

On 06/26/2013 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (2821)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

#20718656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61776) - you deserved it (17026)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49430) - you deserved it (3810)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States

Today, my co-worker thought it would be funny to tell her husband that she cheated on him with me. I'm scared to death and I don't dare to go out by myself. FML

#20754723
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (4295)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:19pm - misc - by unluckydude - Colombia (Boyaca)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46663) - you deserved it (6498)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

#20726715
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42962) - you deserved it (4717)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML

#20725768
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (3048)

On 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm - work - by wtfwhyfml (woman) - United States

Today, I was doing a little victory jig after finally sending out the last of the invitation cards for my wedding when I realised that I had forgotten to put the date of the event on them. FML

#20749970
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38522) - you deserved it (22329)

On 06/27/2013 at 8:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

#20700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43298) - you deserved it (15361)

On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my duty manager demanded we close the bar early because she wanted to go home. I was subject to abuse from customers for closing early, then shouted at by the duty manager for not being done. My actual bar manager fired me for closing early. FML

#20734756
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48557) - you deserved it (4030)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:18am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I got a promotion and transfer at work. My first responsibility is to fire my soon to be father in-law. FML

#20708889
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59637) - you deserved it (3271)

On 06/06/2013 at 1:08am - work - by hesgonnahateme - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (2962)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)



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