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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49537) - you deserved it (4765)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61420) - you deserved it (8533)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (2631)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70758) - you deserved it (4708)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52879) - you deserved it (6790)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a woman demanded a refund for a video game. She had no receipt, so due to company policy, I couldn't refund her. She reacted by loudly accusing me of being racist, then yelled that she'd see me in court as she finally stormed out. FML

#20737368
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46256) - you deserved it (2999)

On 06/20/2013 at 3:15pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML

#20724232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57137) - you deserved it (6882)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

#20746329
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47906) - you deserved it (6292)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52743) - you deserved it (4857)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)



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