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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51290) - you deserved it (3661)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56732) - you deserved it (7978)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was packing up my stuff about to go home. I shut off my MacBook but was still pretending to work for the last few minutes, typing on the keyboard. A good way through, I realized my co-worker sitting across from me could see that the Apple logo was off. FML

#20732510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16322) - you deserved it (42199)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:55pm - work - by awk1 - United States (Georgia)

Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML

#20708003
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53265) - you deserved it (4046)

On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was giving a presentation to my college class. I've had a natural stutter my whole life, so I stuttered through the whole thing. My professor tried to hold in her laughter for 15 minutes. FML

#20719870
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43703) - you deserved it (2372)

On 06/11/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by stutterboy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65135) - you deserved it (4296)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55495) - you deserved it (5260)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

#20725457
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57878) - you deserved it (3960)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (5500)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44492) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

#20709553
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52849) - you deserved it (10629)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Senegal

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42443) - you deserved it (6560)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (6898)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)



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