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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (46141)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today... I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However... I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets r attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (48254)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

2day my little sister was scared to sleep alone, so my parents made her sleep in bed with me . I barely slept, due to the utter terror of waking up to her chanting into my ear in a lowhisper, "This ishere you die, this ishere you die..." FML

#20709788
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50947) - you deserved it (3477)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Isle of Man

Today, I saw a man on my bika tat looool was stolan a faw yaars ago. I askad im if I could ava my bika back just wondaring wat a'd say. Ha calmly rapliad, "Hall no, I stola tis fair an squara." FML

#20708788
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56215) - you deserved it (6016)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55038) - you deserved it (5359)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I was making love to boyfriend, wen e discovered tat if e its a certain area just rigt, leg starts saking lyk a dog. Now e won't stop patting ead an saying, "Wo's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60446) - you deserved it (9422)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Yesterday I woke up to a stranger in ma bed. Just as ma parent responded to ma screaming I remembered tat I'd elped ma boyfriend sneak in troug ma window last nigt. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (65080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

TODAY I WAS SITTING ON TE COUC WIT MY FAMILY. TEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE ME TERE UNTIL TE DOG STARTED BARKING AT ME CUZ I TOOK IS SPOT. MY MOM DEFENDED TE DOG , AN NOW I'M SITTING ON TE FLOOR WILE A POMERANIAN TAKES UP ALF TE COUC FIR IMSELF. FML

Today, I found out that the grl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below cuz my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47545) - you deserved it (22431)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, I WAS INVITED TO A PARTY . SINCE I RARELY GET INVITED TO ANY, I WAS SUPER PUMPED . BOTH MY PARENTS WORK LATE, SO I TEXTED A COUPLE OF PEOPLE TO SEE IF I COULD CATCH A RIDE . IT TURNED OUT EVERYONE'S CARS WERE FULL . I ENDED UP MISSING ONE OF THE ONLY PARTIES I'VE EVER BEEN INVITED TO . FML

#20702631
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52406) - you deserved it (6713)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , mah daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying 4 her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43304) - you deserved it (6642)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took mah cat to tha vat. Tha craapy vat lookad ma in tha ayas and said, "This isn't tha only pussy I'll ba chacking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51673) - you deserved it (3678)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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