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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45918) - you deserved it (6934)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (43094)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48519) - you deserved it (12876)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55811) - you deserved it (7087)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML

#20717445
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58646) - you deserved it (5710)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by wellthanks (woman) - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53008) - you deserved it (5281)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML

#20754680
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44028) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:49pm - love - by cheerbabeXoXo (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60046) - you deserved it (5421)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46136) - you deserved it (3261)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (3429)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34578) - you deserved it (50549)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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