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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage looool she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

#20714826
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49066) - you deserved it (3293)

On 06/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anoymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then cummed home and showered . When I went into room to change, mom woke up and started pounding on door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was 4 sleeping so late . When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me 4 "talking back" .

#20735044
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53218) - you deserved it (3344)

On 06/19/2013 at 11:29am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his finger playing with Play-Doh . FML

#20735100
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47198) - you deserved it (4792)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me an started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me an I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on mah lawn in protest. He has been there fir over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52844) - you deserved it (7928)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Went To Parents House!! I Recently Lost About 30 Lbs!! My Mom Hugged Me And Said, "Aww, You're Chubby Baby Girl Anymore." She Then Said She Wished I Were Still Fat Because She Missed It!! She's The Reason I Lost The Weight; She Used To Tease And Taunt Me!! Thanks Mom!! Mega FML

#20752290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51036) - you deserved it (3618)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, mah friend thought it would be funny to change the language setting on mah phone to Mandarin. Unfortunately, neither of us knows Mandarin, and we can't change it back to English. FML

#20753667
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41510) - you deserved it (8167)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by damniphone - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah boyfriand an I talkad about our past ralationships. Ha said ha broka up with his last girlfriand cuz sha was "too smart" fir him, an that ha falt battar baing with somaona who "doasn't hava too many lights on upstairs, if u know what I maan." FML

#20729746
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (5724)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by ... (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to looool hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw wat I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

today after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place an things startd getting hot. I went in the bathroom an put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it lookd ( like a cucumber ) an ( cucumbers are nasty. ) FML

#20745688
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50400) - you deserved it (13857)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by dan (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, feeling te need to spice tings up in our sex life, I dressed up in ma usband's navy uniform jacket, at, and a pair of eels. Wen e came into te room, e took one look at me and started lauging uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55575) - you deserved it (16868)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today... I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing 4 her in the storehere she works. Turns out... she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount looool of attention caused a panic attack. No... I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47558) - you deserved it (19410)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, mah idiot horse decidd to grab a mouthful of stinging nettleshile I was riding him. He panickd at the burning sensation in his mouth and buckd me off. Don't worry, though, mah fall was cushiond, by the nettles. FML

#20711432
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50242) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/07/2013 at 9:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today I lost mah car keys so I askd mah ex-husband if he still had his spare to mah car. He said he'd send it. I got an empty envelope with a troll face on it. There's a reason I left him. FML

#20738006
120 comments


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