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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42752) - you deserved it (5661)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML

#20715175
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57231) - you deserved it (9880)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26127) - you deserved it (40597)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45657) - you deserved it (13623)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64375) - you deserved it (3454)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46048) - you deserved it (12313)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49045) - you deserved it (4663)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while at the supermarket. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed and "f you" was written on my windshield. FML

#20700486
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46572) - you deserved it (14448)

On 06/02/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML

#20703677
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55909) - you deserved it (5045)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57995) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

#20721539
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53596) - you deserved it (4142)

On 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm - health - by unknown - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly really awesome guy. It went quite well, until dessert came and he started telling me why bestiality "isn't really so wrong, you know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks like I'm still single. FML

#20742848
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43589) - you deserved it (3971)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (10826)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)



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