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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61131) - you deserved it (5094)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32866) - you deserved it (69710)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

#20729679
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47512) - you deserved it (4144)

On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (5599)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51104) - you deserved it (14713)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54715) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60329) - you deserved it (3428)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (7420)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50517) - you deserved it (4252)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -



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