Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51297) - you deserved it (4996)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53487) - you deserved it (3465)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46230) - you deserved it (7307)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (4110)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48956) - you deserved it (3516)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, after years of training and competing, I realized that the universe does not want me to play the piano. Not only do I have hands that can fit in toddler-sized gloves, my carpal tunnel is already to the point where I have to wear a brace at night, at the ripe old age of 14. FML

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

#20747987
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37537) - you deserved it (3603)

On 06/26/2013 at 5:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job at my tattoo parlor, yet another client offered to pay for his tattoo by "letting" me sleep with him. This client happens to be my boyfriend's best friend, whose girlfriend is having me tattoo his name on her wrist next week. FML

#20735377
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49716) - you deserved it (3678)

On 06/19/2013 at 2:46pm - work - by notkatvond (woman) - United States

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58915) - you deserved it (6830)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43611) - you deserved it (4772)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

#20702720
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82610) - you deserved it (3513)

On 06/03/2013 at 1:32am - misc - by Me - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: