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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73144) - you deserved it (4487)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20580) - you deserved it (115757)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80846) - you deserved it (18342)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

#20714023
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54951) - you deserved it (4152)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, a neighbor's kid decided to pick a fight with me because I'm "the new kid in town and need to learn who's in charge". When I told him I'm 27, he said excuses like that aren't going to get me off the hook. I just moved here and I'm already being harassed by a twelve year old. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

#20744819
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60852) - you deserved it (17374)

On 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65560) - you deserved it (14808)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64545) - you deserved it (8017)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53872) - you deserved it (12430)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57916) - you deserved it (8984)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55269) - you deserved it (4164)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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