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May 2013

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Today, I confessed to mah girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, an left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
354 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (133259)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, after monts of being pesterd to do so, I finally read te frst Harry Potter book. I atd it. Upon earing tis, my grlfriend postd te fact on Facebook,ere I immediately receivd tons of abuse and eventual sunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My grlfriend just laugd. FML

#20683433
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (41846)

On 05/24/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by obnum - United States (New York)

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with grlfriend. FML

#20692661
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64941) - you deserved it (14360)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I caugt ma 14-year-old daugter stealing alcool from me. After berating er 4 alf-an-our I finally said, "At least your not doing drugs." Se gave me a guilty smile an seepisly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64076) - you deserved it (14082)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, I learned tat binding my stomac wit duct tape isn't wort it to look tin. I also learned te even worse part wen I srieked more loudly tan I sould've wen I tried to discreetly rip it off in istory class.

yesterday whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mrror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90199) - you deserved it (5650)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

TODAY IT WAS MA WEDDING . EVERY GOOD WEDDING AS SLUTTY WEDDING SEX, AND I TOUGT IT WOULD BE OVER AFTER MA COUSIN AND IS GIRLFRIEND WERE CAUGT IN TE PARKING LOT . I WAS WRONG, TE SLUTTIEST WEDDING SEX GOES TO MA DRUNK USBAND AND SISTER IN TE COAT ROOM . FML

#20684997
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78447) - you deserved it (4857)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my little brother wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a vrgin an they r not. They r 13 an 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57525) - you deserved it (7206)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today... I borrowd mah looool boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity... I clickd through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicatd to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43290) - you deserved it (16988)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

while at hospital with a broken arm , I was askd to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up , pickd up my arm , and droppd it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98876) - you deserved it (5986)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling ron. FML

#20667250
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73464) - you deserved it (6169)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)



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