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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (46889)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40273) - you deserved it (19590)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49206) - you deserved it (5268)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50155) - you deserved it (3960)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38497) - you deserved it (13700)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48840) - you deserved it (2913)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to go to the Apple store and log me on to Facebook on every single computer. FML

#20695876
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44452) - you deserved it (8453)

On 05/30/2013 at 7:06pm - love - by Terminator101101 - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49670) - you deserved it (13511)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

#20687302
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38345) - you deserved it (3470)

On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54907) - you deserved it (10582)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)



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