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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43432) - you deserved it (5678)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38151) - you deserved it (3449)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42528) - you deserved it (2447)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41666) - you deserved it (5325)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40391) - you deserved it (2981)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35075) - you deserved it (2868)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64484) - you deserved it (5946)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17985) - you deserved it (45770)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20763) - you deserved it (40174)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65824) - you deserved it (3577)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38775) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got an email saying the gift I'd ordered for my boyfriend of three years had been sent. I ordered it a couple of days ago because I thought he needed cheering up. I guess he found a better way of doing so himself; he broke up with me yesterday. FML

#20677289
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (2818)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:24am - love - by moikristine - Norway (Akershus)

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37413) - you deserved it (6686)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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