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May 2013

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Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

by Tiber46 / 05/26/2013 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm / Norway / Love

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

by Anonymous / 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm / Mexico (Guanajuato) / Work

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

by projectfain / 05/22/2013 at 8:28am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:42am / United States / Health

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

by mothers / 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm / United States / Love

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

by ktorih137 / 05/14/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

by Jololol / 05/17/2013 at 5:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2013 at 3:32am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

by I'm a joke? / 05/30/2013 at 1:37am / Love

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:05am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, I spent hours playing my guitar and singing in the street, hoping to make some extra cash. About 3 hours in, I realized some punk had been walking around with a hat taking money as if he was with me. FML

by honeynuggetviolin / 04/30/2013 at 8:31pm / Money

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

by meepdaleap / 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids