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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40480) - you deserved it (5057)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (35976)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, working at a fast food restaurant, I was cleaning dishes in the back. I started to sing to myself. During the chorus I heard the echo of my voice in my ear. My boss had pushed the talk button on my headset so every staff member and everyone in the lobby could hear me over the intercom. FML

#20653580
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42848) - you deserved it (8696)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:44am - work - by legit247 - United States (Missouri)

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45156) - you deserved it (3755)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

#20684843
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35715) - you deserved it (16959)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (3375)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41917) - you deserved it (3389)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35607) - you deserved it (6979)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, I received a notice that if I don't move the abandoned vehicle from outside my house it will be repossessed at my expense. My car isn't abandoned. FML

#20662395
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38952) - you deserved it (3831)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35814) - you deserved it (35207)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37927) - you deserved it (12090)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39580) - you deserved it (3363)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42863) - you deserved it (2830)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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