Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44474) - you deserved it (2940)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, I decided to end things with my boyfriend, thinking it would be fine since things have never been at all serious between us. He cried for hours before having his grandmother text me to say how heartless I am. FML

#20654207
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44286) - you deserved it (8162)

On 05/10/2013 at 12:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39252) - you deserved it (2717)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61122) - you deserved it (5511)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42516) - you deserved it (2835)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to make a poster for social studies. I decided to write "Nice ass" in hieroglyphics. Turns out my teacher can read hieroglyphics. FML

#20691781
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (47866)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by Amber - United States (California)

Today, I was rushed to the ER due to a very swollen foot and high fever. The doctors said I just have a tissue infection but my parents believe I have a flesh eating disease. I can hear them discussing my future with an amputated leg. FML

#20652691
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43202) - you deserved it (2333)

On 05/09/2013 at 7:18pm - health - by iLikeMyLegs - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40725) - you deserved it (4153)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50189) - you deserved it (2927)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45375) - you deserved it (3775)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (11151)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

#20690744
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37427) - you deserved it (9465)

On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: