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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70134) - you deserved it (5173)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (43855)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my boyfriend our festival tickets to keep hold of while I excitedly went home to get ready. He took someone else. FML

#20693277
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50947) - you deserved it (5220)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by festival virgin - United Kingdom

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43138) - you deserved it (3903)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

#20693212
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49900) - you deserved it (3432)

On 05/29/2013 at 2:29pm - misc - by WTFruits - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39338) - you deserved it (4531)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lectured by my mother for staying out until 2 am because I went to a gig last night. I was told I was irresponsible and made to feel ashamed. Not only do I live on my own and pay my bills, but I'm almost 30. This is a regular occurrence. FML

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43563) - you deserved it (7434)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (69152)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

#20640984
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51765) - you deserved it (4295)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41232) - you deserved it (7149)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

#20638400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44588) - you deserved it (3041)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:35am - work - by clutzasaurus (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58691) - you deserved it (4486)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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