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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42803) - you deserved it (5346)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52918) - you deserved it (2876)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63553) - you deserved it (14460)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59592) - you deserved it (8668)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66590) - you deserved it (8095)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML

#20684824
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43275) - you deserved it (7773)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:40am - love - by BellinaNico (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38498) - you deserved it (6200)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got dragged along to a family dinner. Some idiot invited my douchebag vegan uncle, who spent half the night making condescending remarks and lecturing us on how disgusting it was to have steak on offer at the table. A fistfight eventually erupted, and the cops were called. FML

#20687302
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38533) - you deserved it (3485)

On 05/26/2013 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (6996)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63053) - you deserved it (5937)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47067) - you deserved it (2994)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51563) - you deserved it (19648)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (68207)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)



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