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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (20859)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62949) - you deserved it (9136)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27418) - you deserved it (71497)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41229) - you deserved it (6515)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

#20693016
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (50305)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:24pm - money - by sammarli530 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

#20689927
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56153) - you deserved it (12300)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67662) - you deserved it (15475)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44885) - you deserved it (22291)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML

#20678301
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50836) - you deserved it (3267)

On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66823) - you deserved it (6278)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)



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