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today while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waitd 4 a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took mah chance. Problem was, the loud part endd abruptly. I didn't. FML
Today... I lent a pair of expensive headphone to a "friend" 4 the weekend. As a thank-you... he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend... taking the headphone with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphone 4 a $1 soda. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get te octopu out of its tank looool to transfer it to anoter one. It instantly latced to ma face an sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing wit te animals.
Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overhered two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents an grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. fat FML
Today, in the doctor's waiting room, a little boy askd me for a cookie. I told him that I didn't have any. He replid, "But mah mom says that ladies with big butts always have cookies in there handbags." FML
yesterday I was in a big Skype chat,hich somehow turned into a heated argument . My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door . FML
Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up an offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me an took it fir himself. The woman an I pointed out mah cast an crutches, an asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML
Friday 27 March 2015