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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54158) - you deserved it (19172)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58395) - you deserved it (4544)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65371) - you deserved it (14313)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (76225)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

#20684997
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80392) - you deserved it (4995)

On 05/25/2013 at 2:55am - love - by lizzie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63414) - you deserved it (6381)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, marks the third week in which my girlfriend has gone without taking a shower. She does this every so often, taking showers roughly once per month. She's convinced baby wipes will "hold her over". FML

#20638375
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54658) - you deserved it (9287)

On 05/03/2013 at 1:16am - love - by SingleStrongArm - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39213) - you deserved it (10078)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today, while at hospital with a broken arm, I was asked to raise my hand onto the x-ray machine. I told the nurse I couldn't move it without extreme pain. She told me to suck it up, picked up my arm, and dropped it on the machine. I could feel the bone completely separate. FML

Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML

#20675748
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54123) - you deserved it (18593)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57669) - you deserved it (8262)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML

#20660939
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81838) - you deserved it (5637)

On 05/13/2013 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by more than I wanted to know (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)



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