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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49320) - you deserved it (6443)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

#20571214
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34092) - you deserved it (3541)

On 04/02/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41231) - you deserved it (3735)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (37736)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I was on hold with the cable company for an hour. When I finally got someone, I walked into the kitchen to where it was quiet and slid across the floor, falling on my butt and losing my connection on the phone. My 2-year-old son had sprayed the floor with nonstick cooking spray. FML

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (2194)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20086) - you deserved it (74387)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52539) - you deserved it (11879)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52256) - you deserved it (5627)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47705) - you deserved it (5529)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (16036)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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