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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46455) - you deserved it (3311)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you deserved it (40508)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49557) - you deserved it (3234)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68319) - you deserved it (3315)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50721) - you deserved it (5926)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54953) - you deserved it (22299)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47305) - you deserved it (6518)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

#20577445
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (3498)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43869) - you deserved it (5122)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53284) - you deserved it (6874)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, it has been over 3 months since my housemates ended their 1 month long relationship. He's still creepily obsessed with her. He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a "fucking c*nt" when he realised it was me in there, not her. FML

#20604478
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55215) - you deserved it (4297)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54067) - you deserved it (12161)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)



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