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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Found Out That Yale Had Actually Accepted Me Seventeen Years Ago. My Mother Apparently Burned Mah Acceptance Package And Letter Because She Didn't Want Me To Upstage Her UChicago Degree. FML

Today, mum askd me, "Shouldn't u be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replid, "Shouldn't u be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in life. mega FML

#20612550
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32820) - you deserved it (112724)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Yesterday, I walked in on my looool brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up an was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't therehen I sat down. FML

#20576240
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/05/2013 at 2:51pm - health - by what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god (man) - Singapore

Today my boyfriend of 2 weeks said tat e was going to cook me dinner. After waiting 4 te frozen pizza tat e decided to make 4 me to be completely cooked e said ( O I ate tis part ) reaced into te oven wit is bare ands and took out te pizza allile screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68892) - you deserved it (17914)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing fir a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, ( I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood. ) FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (10920)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah sister went into a blind rage at me fir "upstaging" looool her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same . My husband an I have been trying fir two years . She's in high school an doesn't even know who the father is . FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69473) - you deserved it (3376)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today I ad to convince ma usband tat I'm not aving an affair all because I refused to ave sex wit im . Apparently te fact tat I gave birt to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enoug reason to turn im down . FML

#20609608
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77796) - you deserved it (7078)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I played Call of Duty wit ma new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged tat a grl beat im. It resulted in im souting at me, claiming tat since I'm Muslim, I must be part of te Taliban,ic would explain ma gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44689) - you deserved it (8403)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today mah boyfriend was watching TV when we started getting frisky!! I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off an said "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on!! He's 21!! FML

#20632729
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57369) - you deserved it (15006)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today... I was dying mah hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn mah hair a shade or two lighter... but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple.

yesterday for a laugh, I putted vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar an went to the mall to eat it with a spoon . Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace . They shoved me into a back room an grilled me about wat was in the jar . FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (18479)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)



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