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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , mah mom broke the news that mah dad secretly got marrid two months ago , to a woman he has been dating for 15 yeres , an that mah parents have actually been divorcd for 12 yeres!! They just lid about it this whole time!! FML

#20585943
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62081) - you deserved it (5437)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's startd manipulating the looool grls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a babby tooth in one such brawl. FML

#20607466
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49463) - you deserved it (6455)

On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand

Today, it was mah wedding day . Three people showd up . My mom, mah dad, and the priest . FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60544) - you deserved it (4468)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my pubic area fir my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's bered with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, mah guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join mah school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for looool mah 3.9 GPA and bieng in the top 5% of mah class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47598) - you deserved it (3100)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today , I had to explain to a friend that the show writers 4 Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 yeres old , and she reactd by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44174) - you deserved it (3123)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (10773)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, MY PREGNANT WIFE PAGD MY EMERGENCY LINE AT WORK . THINKING SHE WAS IN SERIOUS DANGER, I RACD HOME AND FOUND HER HYSTERICALLY CRYING . WHEN I ASKD HER WHAT WAS GOING ON, SHE REPLID, ( THE DOGS WON'T STOP BARKING! ) REAL FML

#20615372
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48486) - you deserved it (5828)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, it has been over 3 month since my housemate ended their 1 month long relationship!! He's still creepily obsessed with her!! He picked the bathroom lock when I was in the shower and tried to get in, and then called me a ( fucking c*nt ) when he realised it looool was me in there, not her!! real FML

#20604478
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52483) - you deserved it (4099)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:44am - misc - by pleasekillme (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I uploaded a looool cute photo of mah boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48286) - you deserved it (13782)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today... my seven-year-old nephew challengd me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me... and then askd my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52513) - you deserved it (21471)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, mah husband and I announced our upcoming divorce . My friends told me how sorry they were and that their available firhatever I need . His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again . FML

#20583666
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48814) - you deserved it (6499)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling wit some boxes . Te seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins . Wen we got to er apartment, se tanked me an introduced me to er boyfriend . FML

#20579784
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (38849)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States



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