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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML

#20589773
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53368) - you deserved it (3977)

On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

#20615252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65382) - you deserved it (4211)

On 04/23/2013 at 4:17am - love - by mybossisanass (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49686) - you deserved it (4908)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (54082)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (9548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (3679)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56565) - you deserved it (5232)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (57760)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (13674)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (2439)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63683) - you deserved it (3051)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54730) - you deserved it (6850)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)



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