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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35404) - you deserved it (9109)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40147) - you deserved it (3587)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

#20585940
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46665) - you deserved it (13634)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

#20578406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45619) - you deserved it (2880)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:07am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (74061)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was approached by a What Not to Wear kind of show, where you get money to buy a new wardrobe. I was so excited that I fainted. They revoked the offer, reasoning that someone who faints so easily would be too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (9908)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15666) - you deserved it (35350)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm from eagerly scratching off a lottery ticket. No, I didn't win anything. FML

#20576976
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (15230)

On 04/06/2013 at 12:59am - health - by Kotoko (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36126) - you deserved it (3034)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (8253)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (5614)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42398) - you deserved it (3713)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (3659)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States



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