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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43564) - you deserved it (6900)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40708) - you deserved it (42321)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55356) - you deserved it (2940)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46119) - you deserved it (4244)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (6148)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (3336)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had to give a 15-minute presentation for a conference. I hadn't had the time to write out a proper speech so I decided to just wing it. My sponsor liked my presentation so much he wants me to turn it into an article. Now if only I could remember what I said. FML

#20575166
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (11434)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41225) - you deserved it (7694)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33540) - you deserved it (18796)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35094) - you deserved it (7413)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

#20585940
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46925) - you deserved it (13677)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (9452)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)



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