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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

#20579242
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31951) - you deserved it (5696)

On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse asked me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minutes of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approached the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managed to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47259) - you deserved it (9616)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43404) - you deserved it (3869)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44389) - you deserved it (6985)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41278) - you deserved it (42988)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46491) - you deserved it (4023)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

#20622462
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56368) - you deserved it (2998)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

#20620041
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (4309)

On 04/25/2013 at 12:54am - kids - by kkt - United States (Texas)

Today, I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (6335)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (3639)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42084) - you deserved it (8657)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a big party planned. All but one of the guests cancelled. See you at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48438) - you deserved it (3811)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43331) - you deserved it (5917)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)



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