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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dog became scared of is own food bowl. He now barks 4 ages every time e sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37462) - you deserved it (3129)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

TODAY, MAH GRLFRIEND AND I WERE HAVING SEX; I KNOW THAT SOME WOMEN R GREAT MULTITASKERS, BUT I'M GUESSING IT WAS A BAD SIGNHEN SHE STARTED TO GO OVER THE SHOPPING LIST. FML

#20585940
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (13661)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday I seemingly decided not to remove my foot from the pedal-clip of my bicycle until I had properly introduced myself to the cement. FML

#20572944
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24872) - you deserved it (5960)

On 04/03/2013 at 8:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was mah friand's birthday, so I bakd him a caka complata with his nama writtan on it in homamada frosting. Aftar I gava it to him, his mothar baratd ma for it, saying I should hava chackd with har first bafora making a caka for har son. Ha's 28. FML

#20574002
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32520) - you deserved it (2380)

On 04/03/2013 at 10:51pm - misc - by JaneDoe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I raalizd that my Twittar profila was vary publichan my businass profassor mada fun of studant twaats in class. My twaat want, "Totally bullshitting this businass raport" about tha raport I had just handd in, worth a larga portion of my grada. FML

#20584642
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (79612)

On 04/11/2013 at 3:49am - work - by imscrewed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to the clinic for a physical. The nurse askd me for a pee sample; however, I had no urine to give. After 20 minute of standing at the stall I was able to squeeze half a cup of pee. As I approachd the sink to cover the sample, I somehow managd to drop it all over myself. FML

#20589296
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45533) - you deserved it (9323)

On 04/14/2013 at 1:10am - health - by NoPeeGiven - United States (Illinois)

Today... I had to giva a 15-minuta prasantation 4 a confaranca. I hadn't had tha tima to writa out a propar spaach so I dacidd to just wing it. My sponsor likd my prasantation so much ha wants ma to turn it into an articla. Now if only I could ramambar wat I said. big fat FML

#20575166
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35426) - you deserved it (11410)

On 04/04/2013 at 8:10pm - work - by BrillianceSucks (woman) - Canada

Today , I was babysitting , an after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done , an it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying , an every time I go looool near them , they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (7495)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally invitd my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, your the silly girl who agred to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

#20586109
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45884) - you deserved it (6586)

On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, as a laarnar drivar, I ambarkad on mah longast driva avar: back homa, from Sydnay to Malbourna,hich is around a 700km driva. I managad to gat thahola way without any problams. I crashad into mah drivaway. FML

#20577137
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (6828)

On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, an I was hungry. The snack were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheeto hanging loose, so I paid 4 them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (9125)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today , I was so nervou about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning , I asked , ( So , you afraid of any insects? ) No wonder I didn't get a second date . big fat FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (10674)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

Today, I Was The Victim Of A Drive-by Egging By Some Bastard Riding A Segway. He Still Got Away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (8767)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand



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