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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37404) - you deserved it (4132)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (3564)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45777) - you deserved it (7081)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

#20629715
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49188) - you deserved it (12466)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14655) - you deserved it (36251)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56846) - you deserved it (4826)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41351) - you deserved it (4376)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44034) - you deserved it (3184)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (3711)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, my boss fired me from my job at a local family-owned business. Thanks, mom. FML

#20571565
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37088) - you deserved it (8843)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up from a nightmare that I've been having for a couple of weeks. In the nightmare I'm shot four times in the back by none other than my mother. I'm getting worried. FML

#20575675
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32695) - you deserved it (3134)

On 04/05/2013 at 1:28am - misc - by slightlyworried (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, in my rush to do my hair and get to work, I managed to trip over my dog, hit my eye on the counter, and sprain my ankle. I arrived at work with a black eye and a painful limp. My boss didn't care, and fired me for showing up late. FML

#20609262
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52563) - you deserved it (6711)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:07am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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