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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63718) - you deserved it (4715)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (3147)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
122 comments

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62234) - you deserved it (5446)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (14406)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49164) - you deserved it (8026)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54180) - you deserved it (12393)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60409) - you deserved it (5853)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (24627)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45795) - you deserved it (7166)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (15612)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

#20583666
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48958) - you deserved it (6512)

On 04/10/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by a - United States

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (10027) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version



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