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March 2013

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Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn!! Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it!! FML

#20557646
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31346) - you deserved it (12776)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , I went to visit some family out of state 4 my niece's birthday. I couldn't think ofhat to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money , iPods , game consoles , etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it awayhen she couldn't. FML

#20568124
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (4858)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, Mah Boyfriend Still Won't Talk To Me, After I Caused Him The "worst Embarrassment" Of His Life In Front Of His Friends. What Did I Do Wrong? I Joined Their Conversation And Ended Up Confusing The Fictional Characters Of Gollum And Yoda With One Another. FML

#20545430
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16024) - you deserved it (57904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts fir mah kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, fir having way too many items fir the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

#20567111
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35696) - you deserved it (14013)

On 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in te local parken a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to soo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being te stupid animal it is, it decided to looool fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22341) - you deserved it (45617)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today... mah 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant... and was diagnosd with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD... cuz he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did... as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. mega FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (15142)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today , I was at my job , waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible tumpers. Tey left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service , telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately , Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34898) - you deserved it (5996)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today... mah nieghbours came to yell at me as they could hear mah "shit music" through mah window during the afternoon... so I turned it off. They then began to play there definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. real FML

#20567871
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52409) - you deserved it (4854)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:24am - misc - by BornInTheWrongEra (woman) - United States

Today , I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bd with a hand down her pants , totally zond out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. mega FML

#20529387
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45373) - you deserved it (6877)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm - misc - by parental failure (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not bieng able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33091) - you deserved it (50996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy . I couldn't help but correct her . She apologized 4 her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore . FML

#20555528
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42569) - you deserved it (6260)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriand, and aftar ahila, sha movad har hand down to my crotch. Sha falt my araction, than got up and yallad at ma, calling ma a horny pig for "assuming wa wara going to hava sax." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, there was a new girl in one of mah classes . We both correctd a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leand back to her an looool said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgustd look an told me she was Jewish . FML

#20553379
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (19456)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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