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March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36805) - you deserved it (2921)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, I got laid off. Walking out of the building, I saw someone on crutches and thought, "Hey, at least I can still walk." Two hours later, I blew out my knee playing basketball. FML

#20551437
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32842) - you deserved it (7467)

On 03/19/2013 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36464) - you deserved it (4279)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

#20548471
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26729) - you deserved it (9481)

On 03/17/2013 at 10:45pm - love - by just physical - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25596) - you deserved it (4299)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33066) - you deserved it (2351)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31091) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I really feel about her, due in no small part to how flirty she's been towards me lately. Turns out she's really just a skank and was trying to make my best friend "jealous". He's gay. FML

#20553905
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36452) - you deserved it (3651)

On 03/21/2013 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (3194)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (6512)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, I spent the whole night and day painting a portrait of my girlfriend. Being proud of it, I sent it to her hoping she would appreciate it. I spent hours working on that picture only for her to reply with, "That's not me, is it?" FML

#20565101
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33106) - you deserved it (4144)

On 03/29/2013 at 7:12am - love - by artist (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (4086)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)



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