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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML

#20501645
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38811) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

#20501469
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27820) - you deserved it (5623)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:51pm - animals - by akasoor - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (3452)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the only positive accomplishment my boyfriend has made in the last 3 years is that he started wearing deodorant. FML

#20525032
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (7247)

On 02/27/2013 at 10:28pm - love - by butterflyzag20 - United States

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30350) - you deserved it (2959)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11903) - you deserved it (26938)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3225)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I've been single for so long my grandmother had to ask if I actually like women or not. FML

#20513781
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (3359)

On 02/19/2013 at 6:07pm - love - by Forever alone Guy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML

#20488553
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (2058)

On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was leaving for my chemistry exam, I stepped on one of the countless sheets of chemistry notes that littered the floor following last night's studying. I managed to slip and knock myself out in my own living room. FML

#20489863
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25874) - you deserved it (6210)

On 02/02/2013 at 2:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that when you suddenly get channels that you didn't have before, it doesn't mean there was a glitch and you're getting free TV, it just means that your son called the cable company and had your plan changed so you get every conceivable channel at a hugely increased price. FML

#20515174
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34983) - you deserved it (4927)

On 02/20/2013 at 5:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

#20499511
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28795) - you deserved it (2070)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh (woman) - Kenya

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26289) - you deserved it (8661)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)



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