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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26637) - you deserved it (1214)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (4719)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18171) - you deserved it (1519)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23913) - you deserved it (2471)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25861) - you deserved it (1995)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

#21365896
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26139) - you deserved it (1829)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4142) - you deserved it (14873)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16954) - you deserved it (1588)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I fell out of a window while trying to close it so no one would fall out. FML

#21366431
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16052) - you deserved it (2302)

On 03/02/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by meeeee! - United States (Delaware)

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10390) - you deserved it (2280)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (2532)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my drunken mom began to frantically scream "YEAH" "WOO HOO" and "ALRIGHT" at some kindergarteners that were singing Amazing Grace in honor of a restaurant owner who had recently died. FML

#21365671
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (1784)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by RadioactiveKush - United States (Georgia)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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