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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16441) - you deserved it (40665)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, while walking down the street, a cute guy approached me. We ended up having some drinks then heading back to his place and hooked up. Afterwards, I used the bathroom, and when I came out, he was going through his wallet and asked me how much he owed me. FML

#21391926
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (8991)

On 04/11/2015 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (4590)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (3555)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband told me he doesn't see the point in trying anymore, and that he no longer loves me. I was devastated. He stayed on the couch while I went to bed. Ten minutes later, he said, "Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep." and asked me to shut up. FML

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (16068)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (3266)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I started lactating. That would be fine if I had a kid. Or was pregnant. Or wasn't 16. FML

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (2317)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37055) - you deserved it (2077)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML

#21385195
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (4236)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)



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