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September 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML

#21252587
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (5910)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by onlywantuanyway -

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

#21257417
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35126) - you deserved it (3862)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
148 comments

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

#21251846
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38505) - you deserved it (7846)

On 09/04/2014 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by candy man - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (39360)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46312) - you deserved it (3528)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37663) - you deserved it (2507)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

#21257946
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34437) - you deserved it (2227)

On 09/14/2014 at 8:53am - love - by NoConfusion (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went deep-sea fishing with my friends. I told them my new phone case is waterproof, and I showed them by pouring a bit of water on it. My friend decided to throw it in the water for a better example. The case didn't float. FML

#21258099
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (5197)

On 09/14/2014 at 2:47pm - misc - by HiImAlfredo (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

#21250887
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41928) - you deserved it (5184)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by very punny (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, someone in my class referred to the September 11th attacks as "Nine-Elevs". FML

#21255951
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33193) - you deserved it (2743)

On 09/10/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by no - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML



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Thursday 11 September 2014

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