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July 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (10117)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44353) - you deserved it (5478)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2992) - you deserved it (26661)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45538) - you deserved it (13993)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47235) - you deserved it (4302)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41690) - you deserved it (551)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (9626)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54190) - you deserved it (4794) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

#21197788
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47582) - you deserved it (5696)

On 07/03/2014 at 9:30pm - misc - by AJL - United States

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43971) - you deserved it (588)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancée has been saying, "Shit's gone cray-cray" for over a week. I finally snapped. When I was done ranting, she murmured, "Baby, don't be cray-cray". FML

#21204913
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44861) - you deserved it (7648)

On 07/10/2014 at 9:34am - love - by oh my fucking god (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39226) - you deserved it (22700)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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