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December 2014

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Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42642) - you deserved it (10845)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

#21320958
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26957) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/20/2014 at 3:00pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (12713)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35981) - you deserved it (4306)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)

Today, I got friendzoned by three different women. Each girl suggested I should ask out one of the other two women who also friendzoned me. FML

#21309350
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (9086)

On 12/01/2014 at 9:37am - love - by foreveralone (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31942) - you deserved it (9582)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35316) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, on a dimly lit red eye flight, I woke up to see my mom's head bobbing up and down in my dad's lap. I guess giving out stealthy blow jobs next to your sleeping son is no big deal. FML

#21311441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40963) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/04/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (6340)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a very light blonde long hair on my marital bed's pillow. I confronted my husband about it and after hours of arguments and me throwing his stuff out of the house, I found another. Attached to my head. My husband isn't having an affair, I'm just going grey. FML

#21314908
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16521) - you deserved it (37433)

On 12/10/2014 at 7:59am - love - by mastel07 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

#21311410
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (2471)

On 12/04/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by yolonono (woman) - United States (California)



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