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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (1731)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML

#21522398
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (3458)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:40am - intimacy - by :x (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (6025)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (2053)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

#21521595
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15905) - you deserved it (5875)

On 01/31/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by barbieissocute (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22719) - you deserved it (2234)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, I worked up the confidence to go to the mall alone for the first time since being confined to a wheelchair. It didn't even take 20 minutes before some teenager grabbed my wheelchair and tried to race me around, all while his friends watched and laughed. FML

#21523102
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (1064)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17407) - you deserved it (2301)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17689) - you deserved it (2125)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22664) - you deserved it (1375)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

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FMyLife, world tour

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