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Wednesday 7 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58744) - you deserved it (13099)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (55591)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

#21133303
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (2763)

On 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm - kids - by Arthur - United States

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37467) - you deserved it (19884)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37798) - you deserved it (5580)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me a link to a "horrible" tattoo that he found online, that a guy had gotten at my tattoo parlor. FML

#21133162
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35494) - you deserved it (8910)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:55am - misc - by Bad Artist - United States

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

#21133708
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (5906)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

#21133488
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32469) - you deserved it (5060)

On 05/07/2014 at 7:06pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boss was fired by the board. A few days ago, he dropped several strong hints that he was going to promote me soon. FML

#21133376
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42375) - you deserved it (3111)

On 05/07/2014 at 4:57pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Jammu and Kashmir)



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