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Monday 5 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50887) - you deserved it (17130)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41167) - you deserved it (4156)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49676) - you deserved it (22278)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48937) - you deserved it (24494)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (4446)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)



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