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Sunday 23 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60091) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today , it was the second anniversary of the day I met girlfriend. I had to go to work , but I set an engagement ring and a letter on pillow firhen she woke up , and left breakfast fir her on the counter. When I got home , she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59202) - you deserved it (8743)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

today I was taasing my 6-yaar-old sistar about having a boyfriand. I askad har , "Did ha taka his shirt off?" Sha promptly said no. A faw minutas latar , sha said , "But ha did taka his pants off." I than askad why. Sha said , "To show ma his panis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53690) - you deserved it (7876)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decidd to go buy myself a dildo to use on lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbd a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't fir me. At the register, the cashier lookd at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's fir you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58830) - you deserved it (22941)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that mah creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in mah bathroom. It's looool been there 4 three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54246) - you deserved it (3130)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was playing a video game that required me to looool hunt a few animals. My mom walked in, saw wat I was doing, then went into her psycho vegan mode and started yelling at me. She basically grounded me for "murdering" pixels on a screen. FML

#20742729
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43905) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by welp, time to become an assassin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told by a friend that mah girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere 4 sex. My mother's responsehen I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." fat FML

#20742827
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48967) - you deserved it (4653)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

2day I Went On A Date With A Seemingly Really Awesome Guy. It Went Quite Well, Until Dessert Came An He Started Telling Me Y Bestiality "isn't Really So Wrong, U Know?" Riiiggghhttt. Looks Like I'm Still Single. Mega FML

#20742848
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43513) - you deserved it (3961)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:39pm - love - by kittyfiddlernono (woman) - Bulgaria (Pernik)

Today, I took mah cat to tha vat. Tha craapy vat lookad ma in tha ayas and said, "This isn't tha only pussy I'll ba chacking out today." FML

#20742647
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51673) - you deserved it (3678)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Yesterday , ma wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt ave te eart to tell er tat tey tastd better tan te ones se usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48729) - you deserved it (4025)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

2day my girlfriand announcad to avaryona at dinnar that sha was no longar a virgin. This was naws to avaryona: har parants siblings bast friand an ma. FML

#20742151
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66853) - you deserved it (4421)

On 06/23/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today , I finally unfriendd my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me . After discovering this , she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical teres looool that my roommate move out because I can't be trustd . FML

Today, I fell asleep listening to music and tanning at the beach . Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but iPhone had been stolen . FML

#20743228
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34239) - you deserved it (26878)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by maggie2014 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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