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Saturday 1 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81405) - you deserved it (5561)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57135) - you deserved it (4790)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47320) - you deserved it (3387)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59883) - you deserved it (2937)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47299) - you deserved it (22358)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

#20699444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (3333)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47743) - you deserved it (4012)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45006) - you deserved it (4491)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65531) - you deserved it (18692)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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