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Tuesday 14 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out I'm actually the uncle of my children. All four of them. FML

#20662485
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98876) - you deserved it (5986)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:13am - kids - by Liferuinedforever (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)

Today... I went to the dentist to get a tooth filled. The nurse just finished taking my info when the doctor cummed in an started drilling. Through my chorus of screams he realized he'd forgotten to numb me. His only response was... "Guess I forgot to numb ya... huh?" while giggling. FML

#20662624
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56123) - you deserved it (3985)

On 05/14/2013 at 8:03am - health - by toothache - United States (Illinois)

Today... I learnd if u type my full name in Google Images... the 3rd thing that comes up is a nakd woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star... and most people at school stoppd talking to me. FML

#20662282
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65472) - you deserved it (5137)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, mah new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grasshenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me cuz he thought it was sexual come-on. FML

#20663640
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39248) - you deserved it (6536)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid 4 the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45093) - you deserved it (3517)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I heard noise outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (4691)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I woke up to mah dad emptying a water bottle on mah head, cuz I needed to "get up 4 school" or I'd be late. big fat FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (22998)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, mah doorknob broke. While trying to impress mah dad and show that I can fix things 4 grls, I somehow managed to lock myself in mah room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When mah dad finally heard mah screams, he let me out. He had to take thehole door off. FML

#20662901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34054) - you deserved it (18449)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and startd peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zippd up and walkd away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." mega FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (4071)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday after coming home from school I found that two brds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stoppd attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them!! FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (3294)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I Woke Up Without Mah Fiancé In Bed Next To Me, But I Assumed He'd Gone To Work Early . I Went On Facebook To Find That He Had Posted A Break-up Post To Himself From Mah Account An Set Mah Status To Single . I Then Found A Note With "Sorry" Written On It Stuck To The Kitchen Counter . FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54314) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

TODAY, MA 55 YEAR-OLD MOTER FAKED A PREGNANCY BECAUSE SE WAS JEALOUS OF ALL TE ATTENTION I'VE BEEN GETTING SINCE I AD MA TWIN BOYS . FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47231) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Yesterday I Received A Notice That If I Don't Move The Abandoned Vehicle From Outside Mah House It Will Be Repossessed At Mah Expense. My Car Isn't Abandoned. FML

#20662395
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40375) - you deserved it (3956)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:29am - misc - by CrappyCar (woman) - United States



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