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Sunday 5 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

#20642331
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (73174)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:44am - intimacy - by beyondembarrassed - United States

Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML

#20642863
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54548) - you deserved it (7851)

On 05/05/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54880) - you deserved it (10578)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

#20642182
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51077) - you deserved it (4433)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:14am - work - by ADickySituation - United States (Illinois)

Today, I babysat a 4-year-old child for my neighbor. It seems he had diarrhea. The evidence of this is in his pants, down his leg, on the couch, on the bathroom floor, smeared on my wall, and in the shape of a brown handprint on my shirt. FML

#20643431
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51249) - you deserved it (3841)

On 05/05/2013 at 4:49pm - kids - by Aunjy - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (45783)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44962) - you deserved it (7511)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49401) - you deserved it (6731)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

#20643291
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52314) - you deserved it (5530)

On 05/05/2013 at 3:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47503) - you deserved it (6337)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20769) - you deserved it (40176)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)



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